SOME ATTEMPTS TO LIST EVERYTHING,

ACCORDING TO VARIOUS METHODS

 

Catherine Hansen

 

 

 

 

1) Atom number 1080, atom number 108, atom number 1.68x109, atom number 4.523x1078, etc.

 

2) Protons 1 and 2 of atom number 5.6888x1028, a green towel drying on a radiator (#4 of all green towels drying on radiators), three quarters of the volume of a certain star just hither of the boundary of the observable universe, something that has just died on an undiscovered planet, atom number 1067, an area of outer space defined by 18 by 18 by 16 light years, a Pekingese (#644), etc.

 

3) An 18 by 18 by 16 inch UHaul box (#401,343 of all such boxes), and all the things it is capable of containing at once: atom number 5.6889x1028, a small cast iron cauldron, a banana, a small chunk of comet P2008Y3, etc.; an 18 by 18 by 16 inch UHaul box (#2 of all such boxes), and all the things it is capable of containing at once: proton 16 of atom number 8.901x103, a blue latex household glove, a 4-day-old bagel, a 1-day-old severed head (#189 of 1-day-old severed heads), a display rack for decorative souvenir spoons, etc.; an 18 by 18 by 16 inch UHaul box (#598 of all such boxes), etc.

 

4) Plastic (PVC) red apple #801; plastic (PVC) red apple #801 and the two plastic apples it touches (#802 and #803) to form a pyramid; these three apples and the white ceramic bowl (#1765) that contains them; these three apples, the bowl, and the wood laminate table they rest on; a 2cm by 2cm area of the apple’s surface; a small fault in this surface; an atom that makes up this fault, etc.

 

5) Plastic (PVC) red apple #801; plastic (PVC) red apple #801, a bottle of white wine in Periana, Spain, and the distance between them; the apple, the bottle, a thresher shark now off the coast of Oregon (#900), and the polygon drawable between them; the apple, the wine, the shark, the south coastline of Panama, and the polygon drawable between them, where the coastline forms one of its edges; the apple, the shark, and the red dwarf star Lacaille 9352; etc.

 

6) An Ambrosia apple, picked no more than an hour ago (#8,944); this same apple one week from now; this apple one month from now; whatever remains of this apple ten years from now; a certain quantity of snow on Mount Machhapuchchhre in December 2011; the previous location of this quantity of snow in July 2015; a quantity of liquid metallic hydrogen in the interior of Jupiter; etc.

 

7) The cloud that to me resembled Lord Byron on 10/03/2002; the cloud that to Joanna Kowalcyzk (#611) resembled a turtle on 04/03/1989; the menacing face that Jean Louis Ansel saw in the cracks of a pasture wall on 07/03/1699; etc.

 

8) Thing the existence of which has not yet been imagined by any sentient being #1, thing the existence of which has not yet been imagined by any sentient being #2, thing the existence of which has not yet been imagined by any sentient being #3, etc.

 

9) Thing the existence of which is not yet imaginable by any sentient being #1, thing the existence of which is not yet imaginable by any sentient being #2, etc.; thing which will never be imaginable by any sentient being #1, thing which will never be imaginable by any sentient being #2, etc.

 

10) A country cottage, a preserved monkey’s hand, a piece of laxly inspected industrial equipment, a stormy night, and a front door; a delicate apparatus, a chain, a bucket of water, a harrow, a quantity of cotton wool, a quantity of warm rice pudding, an old piece of felt, and an inscription; a colonial mansion, a quantity of ugly wallpaper, a florid pattern, two barred windows; etc.

 

11) Religions, Digital Electronic Devices, Large Felids, Languages, Planets, Emotions, Sexual Orientations, Heads of State, Continents, States of Matter, Sentient Alien Species, Rivers, Poems, Modes of Higher Consciousness, Types of Plastic, Television Shows, iOS Games with In-app Purchases, Flavors of Ice Cream, Types of Air Transport, etc.

 

12) Moreton Island (Queensland), Island of the Nine Whirlpools, Island of Grey Amber, Duque de York Island (Chile), Treasure Island, Ruva Island, Naxos Island (Greece), Cyril Island, Winkfield’s Island, Rebun Island (Japan), etc.

 

13) Malayan tiger (#s 1–1480), South China tiger (#s 1–8), Bengal tiger (#s 1–2500), Sumatran tiger (#s 1–679), Amur tiger (#s 1–393), Indochinese tiger (#s 1–2455), Indochinese leopard (#s 1–32), Sri Lankan leopard (#s 1–1020), etc.

 

14) Tiger, Tigër, Teigr, Tigris, Vagr, Pǝlǝng, Ŝeụx, Bagha, Kaplan, Namir, Cọp, etc.

 

15) Tiger, Tyger, Tigre, Tygur, Tygyr, Tegir, Ttger, Tteer, Ttggr, Ttttr, Ttttt, etc.

 

16) Aprilaire 413 Replacement Filter, Hunter 53091 Builder Deluxe 5-Blade Single Light Ceiling Fan, Broil King CSR-3TB Professional Single Hot Plate, Holmes Humidifier Bacteriostat, Broan QML30SS Under-Cabinet Range Hood, Lasko Designer Series Ceramic Oscillating Heater, Thermador Stainless Steel Custom Panel Warming Drawer, Sharpie Fine-Tip Permanent Marker 24-Pack, Swarovski Crystal Rondelle Spacer Bead, Scotch Thermal Laminator, Natural Burlap 40 inches by 5 yards, Susan Bates Silvalume Crochet Hook Set, etc.

 

17) The ClarisWorks Companion (Sosinsky, 1994), Bandai Ultra Monster 500 series “Eleking” figure, Walt Disney Studios’ “New Chilling Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House” LP, complete Noah’s Ark flannelgraph set, McDonald’s Monopoly gamepiece (1994), dragon and princess masks (crayon and paper plate, 1990), pair of wings cut from purple construction paper, “Lucerito canta los exitos de Katy la Oruga” (single, 1984), Playskool “Alfie II,” broken red plastic barrette, 3 pegs from Lite-Brite set, miniature tatami mat from Sylvanian Families dollhouse, Manchurian postage stamp (1935), etc.

 

18) René Lalique molded glass vase (#983), Warring States-period lute-shaped clasp in gold leaf and turquoise (#3), hunping jar of the Western Jìn (#71), Victorian kerosene parlor lamp with emerald-green dragon-patterned shade (#5), 16th-century Tibetan gilded bronze figure of Hevajra and Nairâtmya (#1), terracotta miniature Panathenaic amphora (#11), lacquer mirror case with painting by Fathallah Shirazi (#2), iron and gold Mongolian Rmog helmet (#15), late Jomon terracotta dogu (#116), Five Dynasties-era Mogao Cave silk painting “The Submission of Mara (#2),” etc.

 

19) The Hibiscus waimeae, the Front Flying Clasp of the Luftwaffe, Wikipedia, the Bouilh-Devant commune, cassava flatbread, Radical 117 (Kangxi), Youghal (County Tipperary, Ireland), the Sahabah of Mohammed, the tomb of Eknath Solkar, the 1994 Stanley Cup, the Hippotion melichari, Crewe Hall (Cheshire), El Chacotero Sentimental (Chilean film), the Indiana Convention Center, the seventh Jack Rose mixed, Underdog (animated series), the +4 oxidation state of copper, the German Red Pied cow, the Hawaii Shingon Mission, the Sanghyang Adi Buddha, the song “Se’n va anar,” etc.  

 

20) “Alone far in the wilds and mountains I hunt, / Wandering amazed at my own lightness and glee,” “Hail in each crag a friend’s familiar face, / And clasp the mountain in his mind’s embrace,” “mountains of madness whose farther slopes looked out over some accursed ultimate abyss,” “You must ascend a mountain to learn your relation to matter, and so to your own body,” “Up there the mountains listened, in grave watchfulness to the mystery nothing that’s human can hear,” “Far over the Misty Mountains cold, / To dungeons deep and caverns old,” etc.

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